Every time you do something in the name of avoiding pain, that something becomes a link that holds the potential for the pain you’re avoiding.  – The Untethered Soul by Michael A Singer.

This is an excellent book.  I highly recommend it.

What I’m realizing is that I often do things or avoid doing things because I’m avoiding pain.

The pain of rejection is a huge one for me.

And one of the easiest ways to make sure I’m not rejected is to just minimize connection and contact with others.

Of course this is ridiculous because the pain is there regardless.

It has nothing to do with other people.

My mind thinks it does, and that’s good enough for my mind, so it tries very hard to protect me from feeling that pain.

But let’s look at this a little deeper.

So I avoid engagement with others… how is that different from being rejected?

In the end, it isn’t!

It’s the same damned thing!

That’s the beauty of the mind… it can enjoy the pain of rejection regardless.

Let’s look at a real example.

I enjoy creating my art.

I also have a fear that others will reject it and therefore reject me.  (That’s a logical conclusion for the mind… ya know…)

The way to avoid rejection is to just simply not share.

But that doesn’t solve the problem because not sharing contains within it the potential of the pain.

So I get to suffer regardless!

Until I decide to be free.